Feeling Guilty

Well its 1230am, just got off the phone with John. I have been feeling really crappy most of the evening. back in August, my brother and his girlfriend agreed to help this lady that had rescued a whole litter of puppies that were abandoned. So once they were old enough to be given away I went ahead and took one home. I emailed John pics of the puppy first before to make sure he would be ok with it. We already have a golden retriever, Ranger that we both absolutely adore, we think of him as our child, and we wanted a second dog eventually so why not. Well I think it was bad timing. I am going through an unusual amount of stress in the past couple months, with the homecoming hanging over my head, school, and my FRG to name a couple. I just feel like this dog has added so much stress in my life. I know he is a puppy and its not his fault, but when I have shitty days, come home and he has eaten pieces of my baseboards and dust pan, dumped the trash can, it is very easy to be pissed at him. I never had these issues with Ranger, I think that I had pretty much 100% attention available for Ranger when we first got him because I had just moved here and I wasnt enrolled at the college yet. This puppy doesnt get that attention. I think even if I was home all the time, I am just not available emotionally or mentally right now. I find myself coming home to his messes, or puddles of pee and I just sit there and cry. Anyway so I decided to find a new home for him. I am dealing with so many other things I just dont have the time or patience. I feel like a horrible horrible person, but its a good thing that I am allowing him to go to a home that will be able to take better care of him right? So I was just getting ready to go to bed, and tomorrow is the day I give him away, so I have been feeling just so guilty. I needed John, just to have him reassure me that I am making the right choice. I went ahead and took the chance and called him, usually I never call him at this time but I really needed him so I tried, and I was so happy to hear him pick up. He right way asked what was wrong. I told him " nothing really, I just need to talk" and he says "uh oh, what did I do?" So I laugh a little bit but then break into tears. I tell him how the puppy will be gone tomorrow and that I needed to hear from him that he was sure he would be ok with this and not think I am a terrible person. Of course he reassured me as only he could, and between my tears he made me laugh some more. He told me not to feel bad about it, not to cry over it, it was better for us and the puppy this way, and he said "hell, just tell yourself I told you to get rid of him so that you can blame me for it" I am so glad that I took that chance to call him tonight. Even though I still feel guilty about the puppy, I do feel better about the decision.